Junk Food Kitchen

Junk Food Kitchen (JFK)

This kitchen, located in an unknown and undetectable facility somewhere in the mountains, is the mastermind of the world. Early on, in the mid-40’s, the kitchen planned for an invasion into the heart of Europe. However, some blue blooded Aryans decided that their own ‘kitschen’ could make JFK look wurst. The Aryans shook off the effects of Brie and Champagne and replaced them with their own kitsch. JFK did not like that one bit and with the help of some Yorkshire pudding, they tamed the Aryans and made them eat Dough Nuts! And JFK got some bonus by forcing some yellow-skinned & spaghetti pals of the Aryans to also partake of their special d-nuts. This gateway into the heart of Europe ensured that Hamburg turned into hamburger and which in turn became Big Mac.

And suddenly, the expanding market overwhelmed JFK and they had no choice but to allow those very Aryans and their yellow-skinned & spaghetti pals to become franchisees. The Yorkshire pudding folks became so tame that they meekly succumbed to Big Mac and doughnuts and hogged them by the basket.

This gave an idea to JFK…why not get into other markets. The seoul-less folks were easy as pie, but then some almond-eyed folks got in the way and JFK had to share the market…and settled for the seoul-less folks while the almond-eyed folks got away with Pyangandyin or whatever. Though this was a small consolation, JFK trundled on and took on some Cong tribes in Viet. Alas, this was one flop that JFK could not solve and till this day the Cong tribes in Viet and their pals in Loss & Combo have not been able to get infected by triglycerides.

While licking its wounds over their oriental expeditions, JFK decided to go middling in the east and mesmerized whole populations living on the sands of time. The pharaohs turned in their pyramidical vaults but to no avail. In return for infecting these people with LDL, JFK got plenty of something called black gold! This gave it purpose and it thrust further into the remaining people living on the sands of time.

At about this time, JFK decided to look south and found happy recipients amongst the cotton-picking salsa guys who then allowed JFK to ride over them rough-shod and tempt people who were always drinking and dancing…only now they are eating Macs and dancing.

But JFK was getting greedy and all that they achieved was not enough…so they started dismantling Peter’s burger in a far off land that was bigger than anything they had seen and started selling their Big Mac for 16 cents a pieced. And in less than a decade the rusted skies could not get enough of it. This was the pinnacle of JFK’s achievement and it became a shining star in the universe.

Seeing the shine, the almond-eyed folks decided to pour in some yin and yang and yuan into JFK to such an extent that they are now the biggest shareholders. To ease off some pressure, the almond-eyed folks allowed JFK to make a great wall of Big Macs. At the same time they made the star shine even more by allowing some wild buck to turn their sake into coffee. All this translated into bucks for the shining star. And this balance in the black gave JFK the leeway to tame the Kangaroos and Kiwis though they were very few of them. The Kitchen really wanted a big target and they set their eyes on the Bunglers, the Pind and the Karma guys!

The last to win over were those peaceful guys who believed in karma. And since they believed in karma, they did not resist the temptation that was on offer and gulped down Macs along with their own rice, dal and butter chicken!