KEJRIWOOL

Tongue in Cheek

by Chinam Kali Prasad

Delhi was warming up in April and the citizens were preparing for the hot summer with one exception, Kejriwool, the one with a woolly brain! Kejriwool could not be bothered with the weather or the sensitivities of the common people…he continued to offend their sensibilities by decorating his head with a garish woolen muffler! His reason - I am following one of Gandhiji’s principle…’Do not hear evil’! When New Delhi Times interviewed him, he had blithely stated that being in the chair for 49 days has taught me a lot. Apparently, he heard too much of what others were saying of his shenanigans and finally had to shut his ears off by wearing the muffler.

Kejriwool, whilst having a cuppa at my casa in Dona Paula the other day, mentioned that he had got so used to the comfort of the muffler, he never removed it, except on the days he took a head bath. He was proud that every Sheila, Modi and Arnab was trying to copy his style. As a matter of fact, he said, he had advised Modi against spending Rs. 10 lakhs (One million rupees or about $16500/- at current exchange rates…by the way, wonder why there is such a big hoo-ha for such a small thing?) on that personalized coat that he wore during Obama’s visit in January 2015. Kejriwool mentioned that he had offered to introduce the same shepherd from Kashmir who supplied the wool for his muffler. Apparently, Kejriwool did not have to spend a penny…the ‘liberation fighters’ just wanted him to kick out Shazia…unfortunately, the move did not work as planned as Shazia was kidnapped by the Lotus people! Notwithstanding, said Kejriwool, he continued to be idolized by that shepherd, which was a good thing because, Kejriwool wanted plenty wool to muffle the voice of the aam aadmi!

Kejriwool managed to get the Woolmark stamp for his acolyte’s (the shepherd) produce and is now selling it abroad to make some money so that he can achieve his dream of muffling the aam aadmi. Now, it just so happened that his importers paid him Rs. 50 lakhs each at the stroke of midnight, just when it was turning into Fool’s Day in 2014.

Kejriwool did well with the export trade and also managed to muffle the aam aadmi by pulling wool over their eyes much as I am doing it to you now. So dear Reader, why are the Lotus people who are so pro-trade, against these transactions of Kejriwool? Politics, some say is for thieves and thugs…so be it, let the Lotus people fight the Kejriwools of this country…one day; India will be rid of Kejriwools!