Stock Characters in the Movie industry

THE BOLLYWOOD STOCK CHARACTERS

First, the Story Line

The story line for a movie has to be in just a few sentences as everyone in the industry is busy churning out mind-numbing intelligence-sapping illogical trash. Even a synopsis is too long and an essay is just out of question.

Which reminds me, during my schooldays, the teachers imbibed us with a worldly-wise way of writing essays (which was every week of the school year) – an essay should be about a third of the given text. We, the budding writers, thought we were smart – we took every third word from the given text and made the essay hoping that the teacher would not have the time in the world to go through 40 essays over the weekend. Come on, they have got to have a life or something. But, we were so wrong. A third of us failed every week and had to go through the ignominy of ‘detention’ on a Monday during which we had to ‘rewrite’ the essay in a meaningful manner – what a way to start the week!

Back to Bollywood, yes, the storyline once approved will be discussed by the five major investors – the Director, the Producer, the Hero, the Heroine and the Villain. Much of the time, the latter two serve the purpose of serving chai (tea) and pakoras (eg. onion fritters).

The Stock Characters

Bollywood thrives on formulae just as physics or chemistry or mathematics, the only difference being that Bollywood does not have many formulae, as a matter of fact, they have just a handful! So, a formula is chosen and this contains the list of characters required. It is a different matter that the chosen formula may not match the story line and a lot of weaving and waffling is done along the way. Having a Hero and a Heroine and a Villain is a must. Just so that the Hero does not feel lonely, a dumb-shit pal is given him. Ditto with the Heroine, whereas the Villain gets a joker – now these dumb-shit pals and the joker are not born that way, during childhood, they are actually the smart guys who teach the lead characters all about life and as they grow into adulthood, the lead characters become smart and the pals end up being dumb-shits or a joker.

A Chacha or a Kaka is a must; they are the bad guys turned good for obtaining karma and use a lot of glycerine to the viewers’ chagrin. The Villain has to have some competition or at least a fifth columnist and this is filled out by the Mama, who is based on the Mahabharata character Shakuni, no options please. This lot are obviously the supporting characters whose names appear after the movie is over and everybody is running out of the hall.

Then comes a long list of fillers like Malis (gardeners), naukars (servants), drivers, darwaans, etc., who do not even figure in the titles. These fillers are the polity, they gossip, they vote, they support or they denigrate the lead characters.

As if this many characters were not enough, a few Guest Stars are sprinkled throughout the movie like in-film ads, under the mistaken impression that they would pull the crowds in. (I really miss those emoticons, but woe, cannot use them in good writing!!!)

The List

This gives a gist of the list of stock characters and gets extended or shortened by the generosity of the financiers who hole the purse strings. The lead characters dance to the tune of the financiers more than the musicians or the composer, but then, that is another story called the Underworld.

The Creators

Story writers are a breed apart, they do not need any special skills other than one – that of writing in any one of the 22 Indian languages. And where do they find these characters? According to the story writers, these characters are chosen from everyday life or history or mythology or, if they are too lazy, they just get inspired from Hollywood.

Among this breed, those that come out of a place called Malegaon (a provincial town in the State of Maharashtra) are iconic. More on them later.

Long live the Stock Characters.