Moan Tech

MOAN TECH - AHHHH OHHHH UHHHH

From the time human beings could express themselves, moaning has been a part of our vocabulary, whether it is at the time of birth - we moan and then cry; at death - we moan and die or make others moan (mourn pronounced with a stiff upper lip) at our death; we moan when having sex, we moan when something bad happens (like when you receive bills for the previous month’s excesses or when your spouse goes shopping without enough money in the bank, etc); we moan when anything goes wrong or someone or something fails in their line of duty; we moan when the SENSEX goes into a tailspin or even when it surges; we moan when sad and we moan when happy, some call it sighing - there is very little difference in the sound! In some places, there are even professional moaners available; in some places artificial dolls are available which are supposedly good at moaning although the purposes for which both are used are quite at variance. Now technology is available to create any sound and our film music directors have utilized this to their advantage. And then, what would one name a child who moans a lot and has this uncanny ability of making a large number of people also moan by committing acts of stupidity - you guessed it, MOAN TECH!

            There is such a specimen living amidst us and unfortunately for the denizens of this country, that specimen happens to be an Indian who has taken upon himself to keep us in perpetual moan-tion. Yes, it is a HE! He has this fascinating and uncanny ability as well as creativity to come up with howlers which instead of keeping us in splits makes us go into waves of moan-tion. He and his cronies occupy a constitutional position which most of us think is redundant. He felt that a person could survive on Rs. 27/- per day which later he revised to Rs. 32/- per day and then went on to withdraw it when the entire population of our country went into coordinated moaning! This was followed by a public outcry and he showed many withdrawal symptoms after which he seems to have taken the curative effects of ‘Retail Therapy’ quite seriously. He went on a spending spree and built himself an ivory tower describing it as access control which in fact was nothing but access denial. He felt that his constitutional position demanded that he do his ablutions in a way that would be deemed appropriate for a magnate who oversees a business of $ 4 Trillion and went on to spend a humongous amount of money on the required facilities. He has made us laugh, he has made us cry and above all, he has made us moan! He, successfully and single handedly, has taken back the country’s economy into the realms of a snail-paced developing nation! So much so that the economic fabric of the nation ruptures when there is a financial quake in some far off countries who believe in living it up at the cost of their future continuity. And if someone tells you that his name is Montek, don’t believe it…it is MOAN TECH!

Tongue in Cheek by Kali