Billionaire Babas

Babas and Moolah

BRD had become a successful entrepreneur with billions in his gunny sack and others of his ilk were going green with envy at his greenbacks, organebacks and bluebacks and wanted to find out the secrets of his herbal empire. A meeting was called and they all came in the dark of the night to an ashram at an undisclosed location. A shroud of secrecy was thrown over the entire affair and yours truly was the only one invited to record the proceedings. All names have been withheld to protect privacy and if the reader deciphers any name then it is not the problem or responsibility of yours truly. Here then is a gist of the discussions and discourses…

SSS: Congratulations (though I do not mean it). What is so great…even I have billions (of followers)!

AB: Damn, wish I could stay out of all that bad publicity and get on with spreading my reputation.

SSTP: You guys are way behind. We hit a billion back in the 80’s and are well known in the field of education. We catch them young and make sure we do not lose them so we made hostels for them. We do not take payments…only donations!

BRD: I do not wish to be alone in this success and hope SSS also becomes well a patronized entrepreneur. Good going SSS, when are your products hitting the shelves?

SSS: We are tying up with Amazon and eBay as well as with many local start-ups in the e-commerce sector. We do not want to go your way where one has to go to a shop to buy. We prefer that our customers get their stuff while at home, at the office, in the toilet or wherever, while doing meditation, while doing yoga, while doing whatever, so you see, convenience is our mantra!

AB: Damn. Why did I not get such ideas? I wasted all my time running after wealth and women!

BRD: Don’t worry; we would like to incorporate your help. We want to spread our wings and get a better spread for our products in your areas of influence.

AB: Oh God, thanks a lot.

SSS: Well then AB, how much are you investing?

AB: Shit. Never thought I would ever let go of my riches.

BRD: Then you are out!

AB: Ok Ok how about 5 million bucks?

SSS: That is peanuts!

BRD: Yes…we are not interested in peanuts. We will leave the peanuts for Clinton!

SSTP: Wow, so you are going international…!

BRD: Of course, at the rate that Indians are going and settling abroad, in the next fifty years, we can see most countries being ruled by Indians!

SSS: Yes yes…let us spread our wings and become a multi-national!

BRD: SSS, we are not interested in birds, chicken or turkey or whatever!

SSS: No, it is just a way of saying something with emphasis. We are strict vegan but then, we have to attract the meat eaters too into our fold.

SSTP: We are already a success there.

AB: Why not invest in Venky’s. We can indirectly get the carnivores to join us!

BRD: Bright idea that AB…good thinking. Let us put some in Pizza Hut and Domino’s and McDonald’s and Subway too…let us get after the youth and kids.

SSS: Oh yes…we should be universal…

AB: And invincible…

SSTP: And rich…
AB: Guys I am in with a billion................................................................dollars!
SSS: Yay
SSTP: Yay

BRD: Come on guys, first the hard work. We need land. We need NaMo!

SSS: And the RBI, the ED, the IT and the Banks…

AB: And do not forget the cops and the CBI and the SFIO…

BRD: Maybe they would have to create a LFIO!

SSTP: Ha ha ha ha

AB: And more importantly, we need all the netas on our bandwagon to smooth the way!

SSS: So exactly as BRD says…we need NaMo!

All in unison: Jai Ho NaMo!

Back at 7 RCR: Why the heck am I dreaming of sadhus and babas???