The Mystery of the British Passport

The British Passport

The Spaghetti family is back in the news and the media is having a hay day not that there is any harvest going on…all the harvests were done in January. But then leave it to the gossipy media to find hay in March! Well, it went like this…somebody in the sarkar found out that a person going by the name of Rahul had a British passport. How they came to know of it is a mystery in itself. The raw hands denied having supplied any information. The ferro guys also denied having any such information. The intelligent guys went ditto. And last but not the least, the bureau guys stated that they were blissful in ignorance as they always were and are, as a matter of fact they said that they were known as Calm Blissful Ignorant! That left the field open for the big four of the media and they had a field day…damn everybody seems to be so agro! Here is a transcript of the secret interview held in some unknown location…psst…got it through the peon outside the door of ArGo’s office!

Sir Desai: So Rahul, let me come to the point straightaway…

Barker Dutt: Oh come on…stop with all those preludes. When the heck did you become British?

ArGo: Yes, all this while I thought that you were Italian!

Rahul: Yikes guys, I am the Kanwal type or maybe the Kamal type, I don’t know, so don’t ask me!

Rahul (the real one): Well, you see guys it is not my name on the passport.

ArGo: I saw the passport, I have a copy of it here (waving it in the face of Rahul the real one)…

BD: Stop it, don’t scare that small chap!

SD: He is not a small chap!

BD: Well we call him pappu…so he must be a small chap!

Rahul (the real one): WTF, who decided to call me pappu, Barker, you are permanently out my guest list for the parties on my jijaji’s farms!!!

BD: I will come as myself, no one will recognize me.

Rahul (the K type): Oh stop it. When did you become the stiff upper-lipped British?

SD: Ha ha…I don’t think he is stiff anywhere…

ArGo: He is just a stiff!

Rahul (the real one): Guys guys, the name on the passport is Raul Maino so it is not mine… (grinning)

BD: Woof

SD: Woof woof

ArGo: (again waving, this time, another paper, in his face) I have proof that you were born Raul Maino.

Rahul (the K type): Jeez, give me a chance too to show him up!

ArGo: We are superior, we are the Number 1, we have all the proof, we get all the proof, just don’t ask me from where!

BD: Hey ArGo, let me see those papers…

SD: Yeah ArGo, let us see those papers…

Rahul (the K type): Yeah…lemme see them…

Rahul (the real one): Oh yeah…lemme see them too…

ArGo: Ouch…no way, we got them, we keep them…nobody gets to see them!

BD: They are fake. Your assistant told me that you asked for photocopies of your own passport and birth certificate…

ArGo: Come on guys, this is not about me, this is about Rahul aka Raul aka Pappu!

SD: Oh yes…so Raul, what do you have to say…

BD: Go on…

Rahul (the K type): Yep do tell!

Rahul (the real one): You guys know how my dad met my mom in Oxford?

BD: Shit and we all thought it was Cambridge.

Rahul (the real one): See, you got fooled too. Well, when they got married, I was the ring-bearer!

ArGo, BD, SD, Rahul (the K type): all in unison ‘Oh Shit’!