Waxing Eloquent
The muffler man is back with his cough, despite all that
BRD could concoct. It is then firmly decided that BRD is not the panacea.
Neither is the muffler man, though, he made out to be one during his days of
‘love me’ campaign when he muffled the vocal cords of all those staying in
Delhi. Having been at the helm for a year or more, beating his earlier record of
two scores and nine days, he has become a past master at rhetoric.
Unfortunately, the muffler man equates that to waxing eloquent…actually both
are one and the same!
His Jeeves equivalent told him that his sworn enemy is
getting waxed, to which the muffler man responded with a guffaw! His Jeeves
equivalent, not being much of a fan of guffaws, gave him a stern look and
amplified his stiff upper lip (which he got from a tandoor guy in Chandni Chowk
as he was unwilling to pay the bill) to imply that he was not at all happy with
the way things were proceeding. He clarified…his sworn enemy was at a madam’s
house in London getting waxed…this only brought out more guffaws from the
muffler man and a bout of coughing. Jeeves equivalent further clarified…the
madam in London is making a wax statue of his sworn enemy…this stopped the
muffler man in his tracks…and not a cough could be heard in the 3BHK house,
sorry, apartment.
The muffler man exploded, ‘You mean at Tushar’s? How
could he? Such a cheat!’ Jeeves (equiv) explained that it wasn’t Tushar who was
the culprit but a madam at Tussaud’s! ‘He is getting waxed by Tussaud’s of
London’ gasped the muffler man.
The muffler man called for an immediate meeting of all
his acolytes. The muffler man queried ‘Should I get waxed?’…there were loud
guffaws from those present and one smart aleck shouted ‘Are you going to
Shahnaz?’…and there was a total breakdown and the meeting had to be called off.
The muffler man decided that enough was enough and went
home and asked his wife if he should get waxed…his wife fainted and his kids
ran out laughing loudly.
The matter got out of hand and all the folks in Delhi
took out morchas and julooses with placards showing ‘Muffler Man, get waxed’
and taking this as a god-sent opportunity, the manufacturers of Fem got
distributing free bottles of their famous wax and gave a carton of it free to
the Muffler Man at a special ceremony that they organized at a very famous
‘maidan’…made even more famous by some movie called Ram Leela!
The man who actually was waxed, got all this info in a
summary written by his darwan and could not stop laughing!
A guy going by the name Tharmoor went to the muffler man
and offered free lessons in English!
Last heard, the muffler man had finished learning the
English Alphabet and was on to four letter words.
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