GDP Forecast

NERDS – NATIONAL ECONOMIC RESEARCH & DEVELOPMENT SOCIETY

The Government of India commissioned the NERDS to carry out a strategic analysis of the GDP and whether India can persist at the World’s No. 3 spot after overtaking Japan. The GDP was calculated as the Value of Goods & Services produced + Value of Agriculture output + Imports – Value of Agriculture produce used in processed foods (which had been included in Goods produced).

The NERDS carried out an extensive country-wide survey covering more than a million respondents across all castes, creed, religions, economic strata and levels of intelligence. They came out with this hypothetical situation which was worse than 1984, 2012 & Nostradamus put together. Here goes:

If, all Indians (1+ billion of them) did the following:

Maintained good/excellent oral hygiene, personal hygiene and good health,

Cut down on unnecessary consumption,

Consumed only healthy food and exercised regularly,

Travelled by Public Transport or cycled/walked,

Talked sense and talked less,

Stopped indulging in window shopping and shopping sprees,

Lived in houses as required for their family size and stopped owning multiple houses,

Etc, etc, then…

The GDP of the country will fall to 25% of its present size, Industries in many sectors will shut down, Unemployment will be at 86.7%, Suicide rate will be a high 49.3% and by 2014 the country would be what it was in 1476.

The FM was the first to commit suicide on receiving the report; however, the Planning Commission laughed the report off saying these statistics were for the nerds!!!

Tongue in Cheek by Kali