The Saviour of the Hand

THE SAVIOUR OF ‘THE HAND’ IS BACK

After a three week sojourn in the US of A for some highly secret operation, SG is back and the vultures of Hastkala (Hand Art or Craft; Hand is also the symbol of Congress and their art is ‘cheating the nation’), who were driven to the proverbial wall and were made to wail and whine, now flocked to her like birds of a feather. Everyone started cribbing at the same time and there was a lot of cackling and crowing and SG got irritated and told the chief vulture MMS to speak for all of them. This is what followed:

MMS: Boo hoo hoo, Anna has taken my pants off!

SG: What else is new?

MMS: Raja and Kani are trying to take my pants off!

SG: Will they succeed?

MMS: Kapil, Manish and Ambika have taken my pants off in public by talking rubbish!

SG: That is nothing new? What else?

MMS: The CAG is taking my pants off time and again, starting with 2G and now with Air Indian Airlines!

SG: Has the CAG run out of pants?

MMS: The Supreme Court has taken my pants off time and again!

SG: But, I have never seen you wearing black pants and those wiggies like only black!

MMS: Mawmotaw refused to come with me to Dhaka and once again, my pants were down along with my image!

SG: I can’t say anything to her; she is too valuable an ally to lose over your pants.

MMS: Muckesh Ambani has taken my pants off in the KG basin of all the places and I was stranded on one of his rigs in mid-sea!

SG: Sorry again, he subscribes to our fund regularly and a lot at that…

MMS: What madam, you are not bothered about my dignity and integrity…

SG: Listen you twerp, you can’t hold fort while I am gone, you couldn’t keep the flock together and you can’t even hold on to your pants, why the hell can’t you wear a belt or something?

MMS: Sorry madamji, all my pants come with a nada…

SG: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

MMS: Upon my pagdi, this is the truth and the whole truth, we from the Five River state don’t believe in belts…

SG: Why don’t you wear a skirt?

A skirt is presented by SG to MMS, bought from Haight-Ashbury, Frisco, USA.

The vultures all cheer but, once again, start cribbing together saying they feared for their wealth being looted by the common man. SG tells them to pipe down and explained the secret operation for which she visited the US of A.

SG: I had a detailed discussion with Obamama and he agreed to open a tax haven in the Aleutian Islands as well as the Florida Keys. We will shift all monies from Switzerland, Isle of Man, Mauritius, Bahamas, Colombia, China, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran and Iraq to these safer havens and Obamama, in turn, will give us immunity from persecution and prosecution. He will use it to help himself out of the corner he is in right now and make the Americans happy with a larger pie. This suits everyone and will keep Anna and the CAG out of the circuit. To top the cake with American Icing, he will also give us 0.1% interest. Now, how’s that for a good deal?

All in unison: Jai Ho, it is a good thing that RG married you; otherwise we would all be lost…

Tongue in Cheek by Kali