Smart Cards

SMART CARDS FOR THE SMART ASS

The first signs of smart cards in our country were the Credit Cards initiated by the now defunct Diner’s Club. As their popularity picked up, Citi, Master, Visa and Amex jumped on the bandwagon and suddenly, we were bombarded with direct mails beseeching us to buy one. The credit card was followed by a plethora of smart cards including Debit Cards, PAN Cards, ID Cards, Pre-paid Cash Cards, Club Membership Card, EPIC, Vehicle Registration Card, Driving Licence, Canteen Card, Health Records, Health Insurance Cards, Apartment Access Card and what not. These days everyone and your neighbor want to give you a smart card for some purpose or the other. So much so that without an appropriate smart card you end up being nobody – remember the adverts for American Express? Now, the Government has introduced another smart card called UID to burden your already burgeoning wallet. On top of this, there are moves by various professional associations to issue smart cards to help weed out fake lawyers or dentists or doctors or architects or chartered accountants or plumbers or electricians! And possibly, you may find that the maid-servant who does the daily chores at your home also has a smart card identifying her as a member of the Maids & Nannies Club (MNC)! With the rising crime and terror graph, the authorities are left with no alternative but to issue smart cards for all and sundry purposes.

The situation has come to be so hilarious that I now carry more plastic (23 cards on the last count) in my pocket than there is in my bathroom. A day will come when the Airlines, Railways, ST Corporations and other travel/transport organizations will start issuing smart cards instead of paper tickets. The other day, as I was waiting at the Bus Station, I felt an urgent need to attend Nature’s call and rushed to the nearby Sulabh Shauchalaya, but, I was not allowed to enter because I did not have a pre-paid membership card for usage of their facilities across India. Fortunately, the bus station was located next to an open field and…

Jump to 2020…

As a consequence of the widespread use of plastic smart cards, various NGO’s have sprung up to fight for the protection of the environment much as others did in case of the ubiquitous plastic bags. Various suggestions have come up to replace the use of plastic with paper, jute, elephant poo and donkey poo! Google Tech (Georgia Tech has been purchased by Google and renamed) came up with a Virtual Card using the technology of Cloud Computing and Apple, not to be left behind has come up with iCard and has packaged it with a free iPad69!!! The Korean chaebols Samsony (Samsung has since bought out Sony Corp) and LG (now renamed Lucky Goldberg as it is majority owned by an Israeli) not to be left behind have come up with superlative replicas of iCard and the ongoing case of iPad vs. Galaxy has now included the iCard also. And in our country, a special smart card has been introduced called Scam Generation Card!!!

Tongue in Cheek by Kali