WHAT TO DO WITH ANNA?
That was the question in the minds of every MP, MLA, MLC and every member of the Upper, Middle and Lower Bureaucracy. They were at their wits end and every one of them felt as if they had reached their level of incompetency and could only blame Murphy for their fate which was worse than those who take a dip in the noxious toxic waters of the Ganga. From SG to MMS to PC to the peon were desperately searching for a loophole or a back channel to strike Anna or at least strike a dialogue with him. Then, after a month of mayhem in India Inc (Inc – Indian National Congress) they found a savior in a person from Kerala who like the gold of Pswamy (with apologies to Wodehouse and the P is not silent) temple shone like a bright beacon of Godsend. This person was eminently qualified because of an intricate knowledge of the back waters and channels of Kerala. And the name of the person – hold your breath – A Dhoti Roy! SG called her up from the Big Apple (NYC for you and New York for the oldies) on a conference with MMS, PC and the peon. The following is a gist of their tete a tete.
SG: Hi Roy, would you like me to get you something from Big Apple other than apples?
Roy: Gosh! You actually are in NYC? I hate the place. Personally, I prefer Las Vegas where I stand a chance to make some money.
MMS: Well don’t worry on that count, as PM I promise you a big reward, better than all those spam mails in your inbox.
PC: Look who is talking, he doesn’t even have an account in Isle of Man…
Roy: Where the hell did you guys sneak in from, don’t you know it is impolite to barge in like that when two girls are talking sweet nothings?
Peon: Yech!
MMS: (to the peon) why don’t you get us all some tea and Parle G biscuits?
Peon: Just when I thought the proceedings were getting interesting…
PC: Well Roy, we have a proposal…
SG: PC, why don’t you hold your horses, I haven’t completed the preliminaries!
Roy: OK guys what is it?
MMS: We thought a lot about the law persecuting you after you gave your support to those naxals and the separatists in JK and come to a conclusion that we have been treating you unfairly, so now we have decided to drop charges of seduction…
SG: Dio mio! It is sedition not seduction.
MMS: Yes ma’am, sedition…
Roy: OK, what is the deal?
PC: We need to establish a back channel to bargain with Anna and we thought you were the most suitable interlocutor.
Roy: So far so good…
PC: We want you to use your vituperative best to denigrate Anna…
Roy: Gotcha, what’s in it for me?
SG: Apart from the apples from New York, we will give you first right of refusal to open the sixth vault in Pswamy temple.
MMS + PC: By Jove, that’s right…
Roy: What’s with all the Yankee lingo?
Peon: SG told them to pick up so that she won’t feel out of place after all those meetings with Obamama!
Roy: Crap, what I want to know is how much do I get out of this?
MMS: Quote your figure…
Roy: I don’t want trouble from the Verma fellow in T’puram.
SG/MMS/PC/Peon: (in chorus) you got it babe!!!
And that is how, since yesterday, A Dhoti Roy has been making herself heard with her stupid and out of place comments in her customary style!
Tongue in Cheek by Kali
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