Effects of Global Warming on Goa

TONGUE IN CHEEK – GOA CIRCA 2100

No, it is not 9 pm tonight that I am referring to, but, 2100 AD. The Lakshadweep Islands have disappeared and the Andaman & Nicobar Islands have become uninhabitable. India has lost more than 200,000 square kilometers of land mostly along the Eastern Coast and Peninsular India including our very own Goa. Yes, the dark forebodings of the Global Warming pundits and egg-heads have come true! The seas have risen and the sands of time have been washed away – all low land is covered with water as the sea has risen nearly eight metres. All that Goa is left with are forty hills, yes, that is correct, exactly forty hills, one for each politico – all the other hills have been mined to sea level. Politics and politicians never die! The assembly hall at Alto Porvorim is still functioning even though most of the population has disappeared. The migrants have gone back to their home states and those that remained along with the Goans (who haven’t migrated to Portugal) are now cooped up on these forty hills. No traffic, no mining, no pollution – the Greens are finally happy! But the never say die Ministry of Tourism at Delhi with its century old ‘Incredible India’ campaign decided that - since, Andaman & Nicobar and Lakshadweep Islands are no longer available – Goa be designated for island tourism! Fortunately for them, the airport at Dabolim is still operational. However, the tourists can also arrive at Sawantwadi or Anmod and brought down by cable cars to the jetties constructed at the ‘new’ foot of these ghats and taken by speed boats to any of the forty hill destinations. The island resort owners of the erstwhile Maldives and Lakshadweep have already been invited to establish resorts on the forty hills to cater to every whim and fancy of the tourists. Scuba diving will be the most popular and adventure diving will be conducted in the submerged buildings of Panaji where divers can seek out the murky secret deals of the past. Fresh campaigns of ‘Incredible India’ are now being conducted on the Himalayas, the Hindukush, the Andes, the Rockies, the Alps, the Atlas, the Carpathians, the Caucasus, the Arals and all other mountain ranges as well as plateaus, where most of the world population has resettled. But all these plans could come to naught, as the frequency of earthquakes and tsunamis has increased tremendously.  My house suddenly starts shaking and I get up to run out, only to find that my wife was trying to wake me – it is 6 am today, all izz well!

KALI