WHY SG WENT TO USA
The information given out to the public in our country was that SG was going to USA for surgery for some unknown condition. The other day, at an Iftar party hosted by Gadhdokari, PC let the cat out of the bag! Apart from giving the heebie jeebies to the ailurophobes, the media and the public at large came to know the real reason behind SG’s visit to the USA. It appears that Obamama sent a request through Hina R Khar (he also paid her handsomely – now we know how she got her Hermes bags!) for SG to visit him urgently on a hush-hush mission. The hushed-up mission is to obtain an agreement from SG to shift all the monies from the existing tax havens across the world to the USA, where, Obamama is planning on setting up a mother of all tax havens. The likely locations were Minneapolis, Minnesota, Massachusetts or any other place whose name starts with ‘M’ for money. This would give the USA ready access to trillions of dollars (as all the b-money deposits are in US dollars) and help it tide over its debt crisis. Whether SG has agreed to this plan is not yet known, but, what we do know is the mess created by MMS and his thugs in SG’s absence.
From time immemorial, we have heard that Big Brother is watching us and so, put on your best behavior. Now we know who this Big Brother is!!! The Army had retired him with an honorable discharge, as they were scared then that he might upset their carts of rum, rations and fuels. The Lotus Tiger combine also tried to denigrate him and got kicked on their backs in the bargain. Now of course, the entire country including the Lotus Tiger combine is praising him and his zeal. The Big Brother is, however, a threat to MMS and his bumbling governance as also every politico in this land of ‘goose’. MMS and his coterie are a worried lot and are desperately awaiting the return of SG to restore them to pseudo-power. But, things are getting out of hand and finally MMS builds up enough courage to give a call to SG via Skype.
The conversation was monitored by my friendly neighborhood hack and the following is a rough translation of the digital version:
MMS: (shuddering) Yes ma’am, we could not handle him as you would.
SG: Listen you shit, I will be back in a couple of weeks and will be too weak to handle this.
MMS: But…
SG: Stop butting, what is that little nincompoop doing out there, I did tell him to take charge of any emergency that arises…
RG: (butting in) but mom, I was having a ball at Ramani’s place and don’t expect me to run the government, I am only 40 something!!!
MMS: Well ma’am, let me put through to PM the FM, as he is the senior most of the nincompoops.
PM the FM: Bell you shee…
SG: Oh, shut up. Put PC on the line.
PC: Yes ma’am, our strategy of offering him Kallumadi, Raja, Kani and Balwa did not satisfy him. We threw a bunch of corporate honchos in but to no avail. We got Hassan to sing, but to no avail. We told the idiots at CBI to go after Jugan and still, he was not satisfied. He wants the big cats and Rumesh won’t have any of it. Now we don’t have anyone else left to enact the role of a scapegoat or black-sheep.
SG: I have an idea…
MMS/RG/PM the FM/PC: (all together) yes ma’am…
SG: Actually it is not original, I am emulating Obamama. Tell Big Brother, that we will open up a tax haven in Ralegam Siddhi and transfer all the b-money to it. That way, he and all of us will be one big happy lot. He can use the monies to develop Ralegam Siddhi like Las Vegas and we can all hold shares in it…
MMS/PC: Yes ma’am, what an idea sir ji…
Tongue in Cheek by Kali
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