Independence Day at TJ

I-DAY BANALITIES

The Superintendent at TJ sent around a circular to all the cells that I-Day will be celebrated with fervor and patriotism. He also promised to be on good behavior with all and sundry. We will now concentrate on the sundry lot at TJ.

Kani M: I will not sing the national anthem.

Raja: My dear Rani, why ever not?

Kani M: You idiot, have you forgotten, the ending is in praise of Jaya!

Raja: Shit, shit shit. I think staying in TJ has made my brain as twisted as a Chandni Chowk Jalebi. If we are not going to sing the anthem, then what will we do?

Kani M: We will lip sync like they do in Kodambakkam Kollywood.

Kallu Madi: Talking of Kollywood reminds me of Bollywood. I believe Sheila liked the song of her jawani. Ha, ha! I would love to see Sheila and the LG do that number on I-Day for the benefit of the inmates of TJ.

Kani M: Your mind is more twisted than a jalebi. I think you are a MCP.

Kallu Madi: No, you got that wrong, I am an MP and I even told that stupid super that he should let me go out to attend Parliament. But, he told me to go take a hike. So I took a hike to the High Court and asked them to let me attend to my house. They thought I wanted to go home to Pune and even considered transferring me to Yerwada! Such imbeciles! Anyway, they would not let me go anywhere or attend anything. Instead they sent me back here. I couldn’t even get hold of a jalebi. Boo hoo…

Kani M: Serves you right.

Raja: The super told me that he is holding a confessional on I-Day and he wants me to confess the whereabouts of my riches. He also said that if I did confess, then he can arrange for a pardon from the controller. I don’t know who the controller is, KK or SG. I told him to take a hike and he is now gone to CBI.

Kani M: Yeah, let’s put out on the grapevine, to find out who is the controller.

Kallu Madi: Oh, you are growing grapes near your cell or something? Being from Pune, I like wine, both red and white. I also like whiskey, Black and White!

Kani M: Listen you yoyo, if you don’t know how tams speak English, then keep your trap shut.

Raja: Well said Kani.

Kallu M: Sorry, but I don’t have anyone to talk to. These guys have taken away my Black berries. I need company but those company types who are also here won’t talk to me, they are always busy texting to Anil. So you are the only guys I can sit with and chat. That reminds me, I am going to the TJ canteen to get some chat, you guys want anything?

Raja: No, nothing, as long as I have Kani, I don’t need anything else.

Kani M: But I want some Upma, so get it for me.

And that is how the sundry prisoners in TJ pass their time….

Tongue in Cheek by Kali