Closets and Skeletons

CLOSETS AND SKELETONS

The necessity for making closets in the houses of our politicos has multiplied manifold and all carpenters in the country are preoccupied with this job using up tons of precious timber supplied surreptitiously by our ever loyal DFOs ensuring that every politico got the wood of his choice along with color, veneer and grain. While the DFOs and the carpenters were busy with their jobs, the hirelings, underlings and associates of the politicos were busy supervising the work of the DFOs and carpenters as the politicos themselves were too busy collecting their skeletons from their far flung empires. As is evident by now, the closets are not meant for consummating same sex marriages or affairs but, for hiding their skeletons. The following was supposedly overheard in Parliament House in New Delhi.

MMS the PM: The opposition has a lot of skeletons in their cupboards and closets…

L Cad Vani: How dare you make such an allegation when every member of your party since its formation has had many skeletons in their closets!

Sussuma: Yes cadji, tell it like it is!

PM the FM: Why don’t you sussu off, I mean piss off!

Sussuma: You can’t talk like that to a lady!

PM the FM: Prove that you are a lady first.

A Jail Tea: Listen you old fart, get your eyes checked.

SG: Where is all this leading to?

Jaya L: What’s with her, isn’t she in the know?

MMS the PM: Of course, she knows everything; it is just that her expression is faceless; I mean her face is expressionless. May be she should take classes from Anupam Kher!

J Natya Rajan: I wasn’t given a briefing…

M Tea Worry: I also wasn’t given a briefing…

M Oily: This isn’t a Press meet so no briefing for anyone.

PM the FM: That reminds me, I have to collect a couple of skeletons from my place near Writer’s Building. Mother’s Love has been insistent that I don’t leave any in the City of Joy.

L Cad Vani: I have a bone to pick with you.

MMS the PM: Oh! Why are you still picking up the pieces? We have already closeted Bofors, 1962, HDW, Gorshkov and we are in the process of closeting 2G, CWG, Adarsh, Areva/Jaitapur, etc., etc!!!

SG: What is happening?

Sussuma: Is she blind like Dhrithrashtra? And deaf too?

PM the FM: Now you are pissing me off!

Sussuma: What’s with you and piss?

A Jail Tea: OK everyone; let us be at peace. Give everyone time to hide their skeletons and then we will make a statement.

MMS the PM: I agree.

Sussuma: And till then we will not allow the Monsoon Session to progress; we will walk out…

A Jail Tea: We are already out!

SG: What are you guys talking about?

MMS the PM: Ignore her.

PM the FM: At this rate we will never be able to complete the business on the agenda. The people and the Press will ask questions.

Sussuma/J Natya Rajan/M Tea Worry: (in chorus) we will take care of that.

Tongue in Cheek by Kali