Steroids, the bane of Sportspersons

STEROIDS AUTHORITY OF INDIA

The sports associations had a game plan for obtaining as many medals in every discipline at every meet that the world could throw at us like a wobbly javelin. The game plan was the brain child of Big K and took shape in the bored rooms of TJ at the behest of Ass, sorry Ess ji.  It was felt that Sai was not doing enough and there was a need for the big bosses of the pharma industry to step in with a helping hand to enhance performances of our ‘Bag of Bones’ athletes. The Big K called up Faizer, Bhaier, Glassko, Avantikis and Puss n Boots to advise, assist and motivate not only the associations but also all the athletes available at their beck and call. In return, Big K promised to provide a hassle-free platform for the pharma chai-bol to test untested molecules and no questions asked. Things were going smoothly and we were pleasantly surprised to win many medals in many world meets including Five Rings, Common Man’s Wealth, Asia D and et al. However, one day, somebody’s pajama nada came loose and victoria’s secrets came tumbling out. A large number of athletes were found to have positive attributes and they had to return their medals to prove they won them without resorting to fair means. The coaches from nada country were blamed for the fiasco and the Big K got away as he was in the bored rooms of TJ. The powers that be, that is SM (not sado-masochistic), decided to take Sai and others to task. The loose nada created hell for many and a lot of heads were chopped in a frenzy of administrative reforms in sports administration. The Patiala school of thought precluded other schools of thought and we ended up having National Institute of Steroids along with Steroids Authority of India. The pharma chai-bols were asked to look for other guinea pigs. Last heard, the chai-bols were migrating towards rural areas for greener pastures. The NIS and Sai are likely to be disbanded and a new federation, which will be the mother of all federations, called Anna-bolic will be set up to ensure continuity in bringing GSB to our country.

Tongue in Cheek by Kali