Bullshit

BULLSHIT – WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD

Recently, I read a lovely remark on Facebook: ‘The other side of the fence is greener because it is fertilized with bull shit’. Then there was a report in a leading daily that the bull will be declared a protected animal. And like always, I say ‘do aur do paanch’. The ubiquitous bull is on the verge of becoming endangered in our country for the simple reason that there are no bull-herds while there are plenty of shepherds and cowherds.

The farmer thinks that a male bull is of no use except for our politicos who need them for generating bullshit for the gullible voters. The farmers, because of the great White Revolution, prefer cows as they are more remunerative and consequently, any male calves born on their farm are done away with. I may add here that the introduction of mechanization in farming has also been a cause for the culling of bulls. Then there is also the fact that importing bulls from other countries has been restricted to some elite farms in Dehradun and Munnar for extracting semen. Lately, the local bulls have been protesting at the gates of these elite farms to make their point and have stated, like a typical politico, that imported bulls are not suitable for local conditions, but, on the other hand, cows are OK (they gave the example of SG). They have even formed an organization called Indiabulls. Apart from this, they have also taken to protesting against the bear runs in our stock markets thereby making bull-runs redundant. Bullshit is also indispensible in rural areas as it is used to make dung cakes (providing fire for cooking) and for covering the walls and floors to make the houses insect/pest proof, however, for these purposes there is no discrimination between the sexes and cow dung is equally good.

All these factors have led to the bull being discriminated against and their numbers have dwindled alarmingly. The politicos are a worried lot these days as they are running out of their stocks of bullshit as is evident by the number of scams and irregularities coming to light as compared to the early decades of independence when the country was in the dark like the African continent. The powers that be found that the time was well nigh right to declare the bull as a protected animal. The V & AH departments have been directed to create bullshit farms in the nation’s and states’ capitals where they are expected to be most useful. So the next time you read of someone grabbing your land, it could, in all probability, be for a bullshit farm!

Tongue in Cheek by Kali