Sheila ki Jawani

The song from a flop film called Tees mar Khan made a number of persons famous world-wide, for example, Farah Khan, Katrina Kaif and Sheila Dikshit apart from the crooner, music composer and music director. Obviously, once in the limelight always in the limelight and so it happened that whatever Sheila did or did not do was aired in public like washed laundry in the kolis and chawls of Mumbai. And keeping in times with the fashion trends, Sheila was accordingly considered involved in a ‘G’ like many others of her ilk. In Sheila’s case it was CWG and she missed being involved in 2G and 3G by a cat’s whisker thanks to the bungling of Delhi’s LG. However, Sheila was quite happy with her achievements in CWG and being asked in a husky voice ‘What’s her name, what’s her name’ in Sheila Ki Jawani. Sheila called for a press meet, like all others of her ilk, when in trouble or when achieving fame and notoriety. Though, not a transcription of the recording at the press meet, this is a truthful rendering any politico would not vouch for:

ToI: Congrats Sheila, now we know you made some mistakes in CWG in the innocence of your jawani.

Sheila: (in clipped tones) yes, you got that right as always. I wish Kallu (Kalmadi) had never set eyes on me!

IE: Did you get any help in your achievements?

Sheila: Of course, you imbecile, MCD, DDA, CPWD and NDMC were associated with me right from the inception of these games.

HT: Who was your inspiration?

Sheila: 2G, i.e., SG and LG.

Hindu: In the context of a poverty ridden country like ours and the need for a clean government, what drives you to commit such unjustifiable acts as cheating the exchequer and agglomerating personal wealth that too at the cost of so many BPL families involved in the construction and production of CWG facilities?

Sheila: Phew! That’s some mouthful! Does N Ram teach you to speak like that or is it his phirang wife? Anyway, whatever I did and whatever I had supposedly done was for the betterment of Delhi and not myself and that is the truth, as I take an oath on my mother’s head!!!

Stardust: Have you seen Tees mar Khan?

Sheila: No, and before you ask, yes, I have seen the video of my jawani as well as heard the song a number of times on all the FM channels in Delhi as well as MTV and of course not forgetting, at the wedding of Lalu’s n^th kid.

Karat: Where have you stashed your ill-gotten wealth?

Sheila: (taken aback) what the hell are you doing here? Are you accredited?

Karat: Of course, of course! I bought this card at Pallika Bazaar.

Sheila: Well, then, let me tell you all that I am a down to earth person and as such do not have any ill-gotten wealth. This can be confirmed from SG, LG, CBDT, ED, CBI, IB, RAW, NIA, MCD, DDA, CPWD, NDMC and last but not the least, my PA.

ToI: Aha, so all of you are in it together!!!

Tongue in Cheek by Kali