Conference of Scamsters

BIG SCAM CONFERENCE

MINUTES OF THE FIRST MEETING

VENUE: TAJ FALAKNUMA (WHY? – IT HAS THE LARGEST DINING TABLE TO SEAT ALL 99 OF THEM)

BIG K: AT THE OUTSET, I WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME ALL OF YOU TO THIS THE FIRST….ER…

A RAJA: WHAT HAPPENED, SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSS?

K MORNI: AIYYO! DID HE GET HIT BY GHAJINI? WE MUST GET JIAH KHAN TO HELP HIM OUT.

JUGAN: NO, NO! WE DON’T WANT PAKIS GETTING INTO OUR GAME.

YEDDY: NOT PAKIS. SHE IS AN ACTRESS FROM BOLLYWOOD.

JAYA L: STOP WASTING TIME AND LET US GET ON WITH BUSINESS.

D NIDHI M: EXACTLY. LET US REVIEW. I THINK WE HAVE ALMOST ALL SECTORS COVERED. WE HAVE PROFESSIONALS TAKING CARE OF OUR COMPANIES NOW SO THAT WE ARE NOT TROUBLED. ARE THERE ANY SECTORS YET TO BE COVERED?

K NIDHI M: WELL, LET’S SEE…SPORTS, MINING, IPOs, FPOs, RIGHTS ISSUES, BROADCASTING, INFRASTRUCTURE, REAL ESTATE, COMMODITIES, TRANSPORTATION, CENTRAL/STATE/CIVIC ADMINISTRATION, HOSPITALS, MEDICINE, ENTERTAINMENT, EDUCATION, HOSPITALITY, LAND ACQUISITION, TELECOM (HA, HA!), HAVALA, BETTING, CASINOS, HORSE RACING, ELECTIONS, SOCIAL SCHEMES, SUBSIDIES, AGRICULTURE….

S POWER: WELL SAID, YOU BROTHERS ARE WELL ORGANISED. I DON’T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING LEFT TO GRAB. WE HAVE GOT IT ALL. THE CROSSHOLDINGS WILL ENSURE NO ONE SQUEAKS ON THE OTHERS. I AM QUITE SATISFIED AND HANDING OVER THE REINS TO APOWER AND SSULAY. I AM HEADING OFF TO LAVASA FOR R & R; ANYONE WANTING TO JOIN ME?

REDDY 1: WE ARE TOO YOUNG FOR THAT, YOU GO AHEAD.

REDDY 2: HAVE TO GET BACK TO BELLARY. SOME URGENT WORK HAS COME UP.

REDDY 3: DON’T WORRY BRO, GOT THAT SORTED OUT, THOSE CHAPS ARE NOW ELIMINATED.

REDDY N: CAN WE INVITE GUESTS FOR FUTURE MEETINGS? I WANT TO CALL BE NAZIR, NOT SHARIF AND MUSH MUSH!

REDDY (N + 1): YES, GOOD IDEA.

S POWER: I DON’T THINK IT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

REDDY 1: HAVEN’T YOU GONE YET?

S POWER: I JUST GOT AN URGENT MESSAGE. OBAMA HAS SENT A FEELER ASKING US IF WE CAN HELP HIM OUT OF HIS DEBT BURDEN.

K NIDHI: NO WAY. HE WILL GO SPEND IT IN LIBYA AND ELSEWHERE. NO CHANCE OF GETTING IT BACK.

ALL IN UNISON: WELL SAID. WE WILL NOT SUPPORT OBAMA.

S POWER: DON’T BE IN A HURRY. THINK ABOUT IT, WE CAN SPREAD OUR TENTACLES IN USA!

REDDY 1: YES, YES. YOU DON’T GO NOW. LET US DISCUSS IT. GIVE US SOME IDEA HOW TO DO IT.

S POWER: SIMPLE, WE WILL ROPE IN OBAMA AND ASK THEIR CONGRESS TO TIE UP WITH OUR CONGRESS. THAT WILL SEAL THE DEAL AND GIVE US A FREE HAND.

ALL IN UNISON: WOW! NO WONDER YOU LASTED SO LONG. YES, LET US CONQUER USA!!!

TAJ GM: CASH, LIQUOR AND DINNER ARE SERVED!!!

SPONSORS:

TRAVEL: N GO YELL

HOSPITALITY: SKAM LADI & COMMON WEALTH

GIFTS: JAYA L & KOVAIPURAM CHAMBER OF COMMERCE

GIFT WRAPPING: YEDDY & HEGDE

CASH: BALWA BANK

LIQUOR: V MALLAYYA

NOTE: A SMALL SCAM CONFERENCE IS SCHEDULED NEXT MONTH. VENUE IS MOST PROBABLY EDEN GARDENS – HUGE SEATING CAPACITY. TRAVEL & HOSPITALITY COURTESY: MAMA TATA.