Fasting is not good for economics

FAST

A PERSON IS FAST IF HE/SHE CAN ADAPT TO ANOTHER PERSON IN A VERY SHORT TIME – ‘SHE IS FAST YAAR, LET’S PATAO HER’ IS AN OFT HEARD PHRASE AMONGST YOUNGSTERS.

A PERSON IS FAST IF HE/SHE CAN DO ANYTHING IN THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE TIME.

A PERSON IS FAST IF HE/SHE CAN MOVE/RUN/WALK FAST.

THE WORD FAST IS ALSO USED TO DESCRIBE THE ACT OF STAYING WITHOUT HAVING ANY FOOD FOR A PERIOD OF TIME, FOR EXAMPLE, ‘I FAST BETWEEN MEALS’.

WE WILL GO WITH THE LAST DEFINITION. THESE DAYS EVERY TOMAR, DIXIT AND HARI (VHP HAS RULED THAT THE PHRASE ‘TOM, DICK AND HARRY’ IS NOT TO BE USED IN INDIAN LITERATURE/WRITINGS) SEEM TO BE FASTING FOR SOME CAUSE OR OTHER. ALMOST EVERY INDIAN LADY FASTS AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK DUE TO RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AND ALSO (FOR THE UNMARRIED VARIETY) TO GET A GOOD VAR. THIS HAS RESULTED IN A FALL IN DEMAND FOR FOODGRAINS AND PAWAR HAS BEEN COMPLAINING TO PM THAT THE FOODGRAINS ARE GOING WASTE AS HE HAS RUN OUT OF STORAGE SPACE AND WILL HAVE TO BURN THEM. ALL THIS FASTING HAS ALSO RESULTED IN OVER SUPPLY OF FRUITS & VEGETABLES AND THE FARMERS ARE NOW DESTROYING CROPS TO HOLD (UP) THE PRICE LINE.

THE FASTING HAS ALSO RESULTED IN AN INCREASE OF ACIDITY AND FLATULENCE AMONGST THE FASTING COMMUNITY LEADING TO AN INCREASE OF GREENHOUSE GASES AND FURTHER TO INCREASED GLOBAL WARMING. THE G8 COUNTRIES HAVE CALLED FOR A MEETING IN REYKJAVIK TO DISCUSS WAYS AND MEANS OF CONTROLLING FASTING BY INDIANS. THE PM AND AM HAVE BEEN INVITED TO ATTEND. SG IS NOT HAPPY WITH THE G8 TRYING TO BUTT IN AND HAS CALLED FOR A MEETING OF BRICS TO COUNTER THE THREATS FROM G8. THE PM, AM & SG HAVE ALL THREATENED TO GO ON FAST IN FRONT OF THE UN BUILDING IN NEW YORK IF THE G8 DON’T BACK OFF! THE YC HAS DECIDED TO BUILD UP A NATIONAL FOLLOWING TO THE ISSUE AND CALLED FOR EVERY SON-OF-A-MURUGUN (AGAIN VHP DIRECTIVE) TO GO ON FAST.

AS OF YESTERDAY, AUSTRALIA, CANADA AND THE USA HAVE EXPRESSED THEIR WORRIES AS THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE WOULD HARM THEIR FOOD EXPORTS TO INDIA AND THEY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH SILO SPACE LEADING TO THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE OF BURNING THEIR CROPS. THE BRICS NATIONS HAVE ISSUED A WARNING AGAINST BURNING OF CROPS SAYING THERE ARE ENOUGH POOR PEOPLE IN AFRICA & ASIA WHO CAN BE GIVEN THESE FOOD ITEMS. THE UNO HAS CALLED FOR AN URGENT MEETING OF THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY TO THRASH OUT THE ISSUE THROUGH DIALOGUE. ALL THESE TALKS LEAD TO HOT AIR AND AN INCREASE IN GREENHOUSE………….!

WORLD WAR III IS DECLARED. JAI HO ANNA!

Tongue in Cheek by Kali