POST 13/7 PERAMBULATIONS
SG accompanied by her personal MMS perambulated around Mumbai. Prior to their arrival, the CM, HM, DGP, IB were perambulating to make sure SG can perambulate in safety. Prior to this, the CP, DCPs, ACPs perambulated to make sure that the CM can perambulate in safety. This was preceded by the Dy SPs, CIs, SIs, HCs and Cs preparing the specific areas for the safe perambulations of the CP and his entourage. The concerned areas were cordoned and the Press was kept at bay or baying. The public was doled out some placebos saying investigations were in progress and this ensured that nobody unwanted was poking or picking his nose about. By the time SG came down from her Qutb Ivory Minar, the crowd had grown by votes and nepotism. These are the most likely discussions that would have taken place:
SG: Right Prithvi, go ahead and make your case.
Prithvi: Hic! Yes ma’am, I mean no ma’am, I have no idea (as that was hijacked by AB Jr) and I have got here the entire brass of Mumbai to brief you.
SG: Haven’t they briefed you as yet?
P: No ma’am, there was no time. I was in the celebrations for MAK’s birthday and it was too late to get a brief prior to your arrival. Hic!
HM: Ma’am, Sir, if you will allow me, I’ll will take over the briefing and keep it brief as we also have to issue a Press Brief later. Hic!
SG: You too, OK, let us have the DGP!
DGP: Hic, Hic, Hic!
SG: Is there anyone who is a teetotaler and who can brief me on what the heck is happening?
Constable Billa No. 2200786: Yes ma’am, I was only having tea when we got totaled. Absolutely no idea!
SG: Damn AB, damn AB Jr and damn the Birlas! Well, I can see that all of you (probably 500 of them were there) were having an extremely good time at this birthday party. In that case I can only depend on MAK to give me an impartial brief without any lacings! Can someone go get MAK?
P: Sorry ma’am, while we were rushing down to this site, MAK made good his escape. Hic!
SG: Maayla! I am taking charge over here. Prithvi, get me a cuppa while I give this thing some thought.
MMS: (by now having built up enough courage to pipe up) Ma’am, may I assist you in this thinking?
SG: Feed the public some parables about how resilient we are and let go of some paraprosdokians in the Press Brief to keep them preoccupied. I also want RGV to make a parody on this entire series from 1993 onwards so that the public can laugh it off…
P: (in an aside to HM) is she speaking Italian or what, I can’t make out anything…
MMS: I understand ma’am and will tell Prithvi. Oh Puttar tussi gabra na, sadde naal…
P: I don’t understand that either…
SG: OK. We will have to get enough interpreters for such discussions in future. And Prithvi, you better attend classes at Russel’s Spoken English!
P: I did ma’am and that’s why I no understand. Hiiiic!
Well, now you know what really happens in these exalted, hush hush and high level discussions.
What is a PARAPROSDOKIAN? Here is one!
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
And who the hell is MAK?
Mohammed Ajmal Kasab/Kasav
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